Okay, this one is serious no doubt, but also a bit light-hearted. I do not mean to offend anyone by mentioning you, but if you do any of these things, don’t take it seriously, but please, in all seriousness, do not do these things as much as possible, because safety is important, and it is best to not be a jerk on the road. So, without further ado, if you have calmed down and do not want to throw that phone on me, let us begin-
1. The Honk-and-beamer-This guy is indeed quite common, and more dangerous than you think. You dare come in his way, he will keep coming close till he is a micrometer away from you, just about to touch your vehicle. Then, he will start a dance-party by constantly honking and high-beaming on you. If you are not ready for it, this dude can startle you more than the jump-scares in Conjuring 2. Watch out for these guys in the night, they can be dangerous. You might be innocent, and following all the rules, and cruising on the slow lane. Doesn’t matter. Honk-and-beamer does not spare anyone. Whether he is running on a tight schedule, or just chilling, he will come behind you, honk at you and beam at you, and then overtake you so rashly but with such precision, that he might be a micrometer away from your vehicle, and you might even be able to touch his vehicle! He might not even spare cyclists and pedestrians, to be frank. He will honk-and-beam everyone and dance through lanes, to get where he wants quickly and efficiently. Damn, the cops must recruit them, no speedsters and criminals will be spared! They are that quick. Amazon.in can use them as well.
2. The lane-splitter-This guy is also more common than you think. No indicators. No honk. No high beams. This guy will just swoop from lane to lane exactly when and where you don’t see him coming. You get blind-spot detection in most ADAS cars in India nowadays. This guy is more accurate than them! He is a blind-spot detector. He will detect the blind-spots in your vehicle and overtake from there! Either he will be a distracted driver on his phone or someone late to work (or college). Beware his wrath. A speck of weakness, and he will exploit your blind spots.
3. The distracted driver-This guy is also, not new. He is either busy on his phone, talking or texting someone, or reading a newspaper. Or, he is just listening to loud music, or listening to his favorite radio show. Take this guy seriously, for he might be busy on his phone, but not see your car!
4. The park-lights guy-Okay, okay! I am known for using my park lights. However, I use them only when necessary. This guy will either use his park lights while cruising on the highway for no reason, use it in the tunnels (which in case you did not know, is idiotic and not necessary) and will use park lights as an excuse to drive rashly. Please do not be like him. He is either a harmless idiot or a dangerous driver.
5. The Road Rage-This guy will do anything to pick a fight and win it just for the sake of it. Even the smallest things will instigate him. His ego is on the line, after all. Even if it is his fault and the other guy isn’t at fault, he will find it as an excuse to fight. Stay away from him, unless you have a fleet of bodyguards, or a professional fighter, of course.
6. The Footpath guy-This one needs no introduction. He drives on the footpath, of course, and learning from Selmon Bhoi, he doesn’t want to change his habits. Pedestrians beware!
7. The gapper- This guy believes that he is Flash, and he squeezes through every small gap he can find, forgetting that his car isn’t a rickshaw, A classic, indeed. Some of them are pretty skilled, no doubt, as they are super-precise down to the last micrometer while cutting through narrow city streets at breakneck speed, slowing down at nothing. Be careful though, for if it is a noob or a fool, then there can be a crash.
8. The track guy-This guy is always ready to test the handling potential of his car. You will see him corner aggressively on the hills, or even on mundane city streets with minor bends like Jogeshwari-Vikhroli Link Road or the ramp entrances to Eastern Freeway or the Santacruz-Chembur Link Road, or somewhere in Ghodbunder. Whether you like it or not, you sure damn well know he is having a ball of a time. The time of his life, indeed!
9. The blocker-Car type mostly doesn’t matter but most of the time he/she is an egomaniac with a huge SUV. They just block a narrow section of road and go slower than the vehicle behind them, blocking the traffic behind. As much as they want to be a snob and play superiority games, it just shows how immature you are. What? Hurt your feelings?
10.The guy who forgot to turn off his indicator-Yeah! Another classic. Mostly it happens by mistake, but others who do it are just idiots. Holding back traffic in suspense, but never making the turn. That’s it, no further elaboration needed.
Bonus-The Need for Speed-The guy that is racing on the road. Another classic.
This ends the list. Do tell me if you want to add more.
